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VISA NA MIKASA…………. ATA N’KWAMBIYE 11

This week I have decided to dedicate my weekly visa na mikasa to the good old Wekelea the dog. Don’t ask me why? Probably it is the name, (for I just loved it), or something to do with the way poor Wekelea’s life came to an end. Therefore let me tie my pet, (Hilary the chicken), and continue with my narrative.

A member of SOL that I met on the weekend, after reading visa na mikasa 10, narrated this story to me. This incident happened in Houston Texas. One member of akina sisi, from Isiolo (whose name will be Banjo), happened to be working in a gas station in Houston. He was in Texas as a student. To make ends meet he had to do all kind of odd jobs, hence his position as a gas attendant. One day he received news from his friend that he was coming to Houston for studies. He was so happy and excited the whole day, until when he met this Gringo n’gombe mvulana alias Cowboy that his happiness was put to a test. This Gringo n’gombe mvulana came out of his pick up and a goat was following him. Once Banjo saw this he thanked God and said, “Alhamdullilah…rizki imenijia mpaka nyumbani.”

‘Hey, what is this?’ asked Banjo

‘ It’s a goat. Why haven’t you seen one?’ responded Gringo n’gombe mvulana

‘ Well I know it’s a goat, I was just wondering what’s the story behind it?’

‘ It’s my pet.’

‘Ah come on man, I’m serious about this.’

‘So am I.’

‘Listen men I have a friend of mine coming from Africa tomorrow. I want to welcome him the African way by slaughtering a goat. So tell me how much you want for the goat.’

‘You must be crazy. You think you are in the jungle here? How dare you ask me to sell Nancy to you.’

‘ Come on man mention your price I will pay. It’s a goat for God’s sake what do you mean it’s a pet.’ Banjo was so adamant. He did not want this opportunity to pass him.

‘ I am not hearing this…… I am just not hearing this.’ uttered Gringo n’gombe mvulana. He then left Banjo standing, went into his car, and came out with a gun.

‘ If you touch Nancy, I will shoot you. Believe you me.’  threatened Gringo n’gombe mvulana.

‘ You are serious about this. You are ready to kill me for the goat, even though I was willing to pay for the animal.’

‘Damn right! This is not an animal you stupid African. Let this sink in your head. This is Nancy, and she is part of the family. Get it?’

‘ I get it.’  responded Banjo receiving the gas money. He then murmured more to himself than to Gringo n’gombe mvulana, ‘ I would love to see the rest of the family.’

‘What did you say?’

 ‘Nothing.’ answered Banjo and left for the office disappointed.

            I wonder what happened to Banjo. Whether he decided to go to the butchery and buy meat there or he went to the country to buy his own Nancy for the mgeni. Whatever happened to the good old days when animals were animals and humans were just that, humans. This takes me to London Ontario, in Canada. A friend of mine who used to live there told me of a story about his landlady and her ‘son’ Nicky. Nicky is a fourteen years old dog. In human life this will make him to be 84 years old. Since the landlady was living in the same house as my friend, they had to bump on each other every now and then. The landlady will make my friend sit and listen to her stories and her relationship with Nicky. She had a whole album to show of the life history of Nicky. Nicky as a puppy, Nicky having his first solid food, Nicky having a girlfriend, a picture of Nicky with his girlfriend- Shelly, Nicky attending Shelly’s funeral when she died prematurely. Nicky being depressed, Nicky singing the blues (OK this part was my addition, but would you be surprised if she said Nicky was singing the blues?), and she would go on for hours. Now listen to this. This is the part that made me ask whether my brother Hamadi Boga was really dedicated to Wekelea, or would he have been, had Wekelea been alive. This lady went for a vacation to Mexico. She wanted to take Nicky with her but she was not allowed. Anyway, she ended going to Mexico alone, and hired someone to take care of Nicky. Remember that this happened in the BC era (yaani, Before Computers). Actually computers were already there but were not popular yet; and also they hadn’t figured out how to put the telephone companies out of business by making free calls through the internet. Let me go on with the landlady. While she was in Mexico, she made calls everyday to check on the well being of Nicky. By the time she returned back to Canada, the landlady informed my friend that, the telephone bill for the number of calls she made while she was in Mexico was 800 dollars US.  And then there is Akina sisi….

            Could Wekelea get the same kind of treatment? I wonder. When this landlady finished telling my friend this story, she probably reminded him,

 “By the way, today is the second day of the month, and I haven’t received your rent yet. Therefore make sure I get it first thing tomorrow morning. If not you better start packing for I can rent the room to someone else.” The fact that it could have been in the middle of winter did not matter. If my friend told her, “ You see the reason why I came to see you is because I wanted to ask you if you could be patient for a week. When I get my pay, I will give you the rent….I have a whole tribe in Africa to take care of, and they all depend on me.” The landlady may not even wink over that; but had he said, “ I am on the process of adopting Cassandra the pig from Germany.” He may have been given the apartment, rent free, for the whole year.

            I remember my bachelor days when we would live five to six guys, in one bedroom apartment. One day, this friend of mine, who will remain nameless, was so angry after watching a TV programme sponsored by the humane society. The whole programme was to raise fund to help the helpless animals have a decent life and protect the animals from being thrown in the street, and arrange for their adoption. My friend was so furious. He went on a rampage and said,

 Hawa jamaa sasa wanzidi. Kama kweli wateteya haki za wanyama mbona wanyama wanao wataja ni mapaka na majibwa tu. Sija ona hata mmoja akiteteya ma kombamwiko na mbu. Ikizidi wao ndiyo mwanzo wanawauwa.”

“ Ehe lakini wajuwa hawa akina kupe na mbu na mende huleta maradhi.”  responded one.

Aaah tafadhali bwana. Hata hawa akina mbwa na paka huleta magonjwa piya. Hebu lete paka hapa nyumbani halafu mwangaliye Said kama atakuwa mzima. Ataanza kuchemuwa utasema ampewa ugoro wa kichonyi.”

“ Vipi tena mbona mwantiya kundini tena?”  I jumped in on hearing my name.

“ Ah kwani urongo bwana. Said wewe si una allergies. Waweza kuturuhusu tulete paka hapa?”  

Siwezi zuwiya mtu, lakini Shekhe wewe si ulikuwa mazungumzo yako ni juu ya makombamwiko na kupe na mbu. Unlenga nini yaani wataka kuanza utetezi wao? I asked.

“ That is my point exactly. I want to start my own organization and start my campaign SAVE THE ROACHES!! I will be the president.Mtu akiuwa mende tutapelekana kotini.”

            We all laughed at my friend and said that the hard life of this country must be taking its toll: our friend was becoming senile. I thought about what my friend said in that apartment. It may sound silly, but it sure makes you wonder and say MmmmhhhhhhVISA NA MIKASA…………. ATA N’KWAMBIYE 11

This week I have decided to dedicate my weekly visa na mikasa to the good old Wekelea the dog. Don’t ask me why? Probably it is the name, (for I just loved it), or something to do with the way poor Wekelea’s life came to an end. Therefore let me tie my pet, (Hilary the chicken), and continue with my narrative.

A member of SOL that I met on the weekend, after reading visa na mikasa 10, narrated this story to me. This incident happened in Houston Texas. One member of akina sisi, from Isiolo (whose name will be Banjo), happened to be working in a gas station in Houston. He was in Texas as a student. To make ends meet he had to do all kind of odd jobs, hence his position as a gas attendant. One day he received news from his friend that he was coming to Houston for studies. He was so happy and excited the whole day, until when he met this Gringo n’gombe mvulana alias Cowboy that his happiness was put to a test. This Gringo n’gombe mvulana came out of his pick up and a goat was following him. Once Banjo saw this he thanked God and said, “Alhamdullilah…rizki imenijia mpaka nyumbani.”

‘Hey, what is this?’ asked Banjo

‘ It’s a goat. Why haven’t you seen one?’ responded Gringo n’gombe mvulana

‘ Well I know it’s a goat, I was just wondering what’s the story behind it?’

‘ It’s my pet.’

‘Ah come on man, I’m serious about this.’

‘So am I.’

‘Listen men I have a friend of mine coming from Africa tomorrow. I want to welcome him the African way by slaughtering a goat. So tell me how much you want for the goat.’

‘You must be crazy. You think you are in the jungle here? How dare you ask me to sell Nancy to you.’

‘ Come on man mention your price I will pay. It’s a goat for God’s sake what do you mean it’s a pet.’ Banjo was so adamant. He did not want this opportunity to pass him.

‘ I am not hearing this…… I am just not hearing this.’ uttered Gringo n’gombe mvulana. He then left Banjo standing, went into his car, and came out with a gun.

‘ If you touch Nancy, I will shoot you. Believe you me.’  threatened Gringo n’gombe mvulana.

‘ You are serious about this. You are ready to kill me for the goat, even though I was willing to pay for the animal.’

‘Damn right! This is not an animal you stupid African. Let this sink in your head. This is Nancy, and she is part of the family. Get it?’

‘ I get it.’  responded Banjo receiving the gas money. He then murmured more to himself than to Gringo n’gombe mvulana, ‘ I would love to see the rest of the family.’

‘What did you say?’

 ‘Nothing.’ answered Banjo and left for the office disappointed.

            I wonder what happened to Banjo. Whether he decided to go to the butchery and buy meat there or he went to the country to buy his own Nancy for the mgeni. Whatever happened to the good old days when animals were animals and humans were just that, humans. This takes me to London Ontario, in Canada. A friend of mine who used to live there told me of a story about his landlady and her ‘son’ Nicky. Nicky is a fourteen years old dog. In human life this will make him to be 84 years old. Since the landlady was living in the same house as my friend, they had to bump on each other every now and then. The landlady will make my friend sit and listen to her stories and her relationship with Nicky. She had a whole album to show of the life history of Nicky. Nicky as a puppy, Nicky having his first solid food, Nicky having a girlfriend, a picture of Nicky with his girlfriend- Shelly, Nicky attending Shelly’s funeral when she died prematurely. Nicky being depressed, Nicky singing the blues (OK this part was my addition, but would you be surprised if she said Nicky was singing the blues?), and she would go on for hours. Now listen to this. This is the part that made me ask whether my brother Hamadi Boga was really dedicated to Wekelea, or would he have been, had Wekelea been alive. This lady went for a vacation to Mexico. She wanted to take Nicky with her but she was not allowed. Anyway, she ended going to Mexico alone, and hired someone to take care of Nicky. Remember that this happened in the BC era (yaani, Before Computers). Actually computers were already there but were not popular yet; and also they hadn’t figured out how to put the telephone companies out of business by making free calls through the internet. Let me go on with the landlady. While she was in Mexico, she made calls everyday to check on the well being of Nicky. By the time she returned back to Canada, the landlady informed my friend that, the telephone bill for the number of calls she made while she was in Mexico was 800 dollars US.  And then there is Akina sisi….

            Could Wekelea get the same kind of treatment? I wonder. When this landlady finished telling my friend this story, she probably reminded him,

 “By the way, today is the second day of the month, and I haven’t received your rent yet. Therefore make sure I get it first thing tomorrow morning. If not you better start packing for I can rent the room to someone else.” The fact that it could have been in the middle of winter did not matter. If my friend told her, “ You see the reason why I came to see you is because I wanted to ask you if you could be patient for a week. When I get my pay, I will give you the rent….I have a whole tribe in Africa to take care of, and they all depend on me.” The landlady may not even wink over that; but had he said, “ I am on the process of adopting Cassandra the pig from Germany.” He may have been given the apartment, rent free, for the whole year.

            I remember my bachelor days when we would live five to six guys, in one bedroom apartment. One day, this friend of mine, who will remain nameless, was so angry after watching a TV programme sponsored by the humane society. The whole programme was to raise fund to help the helpless animals have a decent life and protect the animals from being thrown in the street, and arrange for their adoption. My friend was so furious. He went on a rampage and said,

 Hawa jamaa sasa wanzidi. Kama kweli wateteya haki za wanyama mbona wanyama wanao wataja ni mapaka na majibwa tu. Sija ona hata mmoja akiteteya ma kombamwiko na mbu. Ikizidi wao ndiyo mwanzo wanawauwa.”

“ Ehe lakini wajuwa hawa akina kupe na mbu na mende huleta maradhi.”  responded one.

Aaah tafadhali bwana. Hata hawa akina mbwa na paka huleta magonjwa piya. Hebu lete paka hapa nyumbani halafu mwangaliye Said kama atakuwa mzima. Ataanza kuchemuwa utasema ampewa ugoro wa kichonyi.”

“ Vipi tena mbona mwantiya kundini tena?”  I jumped in on hearing my name.

“ Ah kwani urongo bwana. Said wewe si una allergies. Waweza kuturuhusu tulete paka hapa?”  

Siwezi zuwiya mtu, lakini Shekhe wewe si ulikuwa mazungumzo yako ni juu ya makombamwiko na kupe na mbu. Unlenga nini yaani wataka kuanza utetezi wao? I asked.

“ That is my point exactly. I want to start my own organization and start my campaign SAVE THE ROACHES!! I will be the president.Mtu akiuwa mende tutapelekana kotini.”

            We all laughed at my friend and said that the hard life of this country must be taking its toll: our friend was becoming senile. I thought about what my friend said in that apartment. It may sound silly, but it sure makes you wonder and say Mmmmhhhhhh.